演說者：Thomas Curran
演說題目：完美主義，正在毀了年輕人
不知道大家有沒過這種經歷：即使是自己錯了，但還是固執的覺得自己是對的？演講者Julia Galef講述了一個歷史“冤案”，從這個“冤案”故事給我們分析我們為什么會出現這種情況。
Remark：TED音頻下載，網易云音樂搜索主播電臺：TED英語演說
完美主義，正在毀了年輕人 來自TED英語演說 00:00 14:55
中英對照演講稿
I'm a bit of a perfectionist.
我是個完美主義者。
Now, how many times have you heard that one?
你們聽過這話多少次了呢？
Over drinks, maybe, with friends, or perhaps with family at Thanksgiving.
也許是在和朋友一起喝酒時， 也許是和家人一起過感恩節時。
It's everyone's favorite flaw,
這是人人鐘愛的小缺點，
it's that now quite common response
在求職面試中，人們現在對于 最后一個，也是最難的問題，
to the difficult, final question at job interviews:
往往有共同的回應：
'My biggest weakness?
“我最大的缺點是？
That's my perfectionism.'
我是完美主義者。”
You see, for something that supposedly holds us back,
像這樣會阻礙我們進步的東西，
it's quite remarkable how many of us are quite happy to hold our hands up
很明顯，有如此多的人 非常樂意舉起手
and say we're perfectionists.
承認我們是完美主義者。
But there's an interesting and serious point
但一個有趣和嚴肅的觀點是，
because our begrudging admiration for perfection is so pervasive
因為我們對完美的艷羨是如此普遍，
that we never really stop to question that concept in its own terms.
以致我們從沒真正停下來 質疑這個觀點本身。
What does it say about us and our society
我們和我們的社會存在
that there is a kind of celebration in perfection?
頌揚完美的現象說明了什么？
We tend to hold perfectionism up as an insignia of worth.
我們傾向于把完美主義作為價值的象征，
The emblem of the successful.
成功的象征。
Yet, in my time studying perfectionism,
然而，在我研究完美主義的過程中，
I've seen limited evidence that perfectionists are more successful.
我很少看到有證據表明， 完美主義者會更加成功。
Quite the contrary --
恰恰相反——
they feel discontented and dissatisfied
他們感到失落和不滿，
amid a lingering sense that they're never quite perfect enough.
處于一種揮之不去的不完美感覺之中。
We know from clinician case reports
我們從臨床病例報告中得知，
that perfectionism conceals a host of psychological difficulties,
完美主義掩蓋了許多心理上的問題，
including things like depression, anxiety, anorexia, bulimia
包括抑郁，焦慮，厭食癥，暴食癥
and even suicide ideation.
甚至是自殺的想法。
And what's more worrying is that over the last 25 years,
更讓人擔憂的是在過去25年中，
we have seen perfectionism rise at an alarming rate.
我們看到完美主義出現的頻率 以驚人的速度上升。
And at the same time,
同時，
we have seen more mental illness among young people than ever before.
我們在年輕人中看到的 精神疾病病例比以往任何時候都多。
Rates of suicide in the US alone
僅是美國的自殺率
increased by 25 percent across the last two decades.
在過去20年間就上升了25%。
And we're beginning to see similar trends emerge across Canada, and in my home country, the United Kingdom.
我們在加拿大和我的祖國英國 也看到了類似的趨勢。
Now, our research is suggesting
我們的研究顯示
that perfectionism is rising as society is changing.
隨著社會的發展，完美主義的 現象也層出不窮。
And a changed society reflects a changed sense of personal identity
社會的變化反映了個人認同感的變化，
and, with it, differences in the way in which young people interact with each other and the world around them.
同時，也帶來了年輕人之間，以及他們與周圍環境互動方式的差異。
And there are some unique characteristics about our preeminent, market-based society
我們這個卓越的、以市場為基礎的社會有一些獨特的特征，
that include things like unrestricted choice
包括不受限制的選擇
and personal freedom,
和個人自由，
and these are characteristics that we feel are contributing
我們認為這些特征導致了
to almost epidemic levels of this problem.
這個問題的流行程度。
So let me give you an example.
讓我給你們舉個例子。
Young people today are more preoccupied with the attainment of the perfect life
今天的年輕人更專注于 追求完美的生活
and lifestyle.
和生活方式，
In terms of their image, status and wealth.
也就是個人形象，地位 和財富方面的影響力。
Data from Pew show that young people born in the US in the late 1980s
皮尤數據顯示，出生于80年代晚期的美國年輕人
are 20 percent more likely to report being materially rich as among their most important life goals,
認為物質富裕是他們最重要的人生目標的人數比例高出了20%。
relative to their parents and their grandparents.
對比他們的父輩和祖輩
Young people also borrow more heavily than did older generations,
年輕人也比老一代人借貸更多，
and they spend a much greater proportion of their income on image goods
他們把收入的很大一部分花在形象商品
and status possessions.
和身份財產上。
These possessions, their lives and their lifestyles
這些財產，他們的生活和生活方式
are now displayed in vivid detail on the ubiquitous social media platforms
如今非常生動地展示在無處不在的社交媒體上。
of Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat.
諸如Instagramt、Facebook和SnapCha
In this new visual culture,
在這個新的視覺文化中，
the appearance of perfection is far more important than the reality.
完美的外表遠比現實重要。
If one side of the modern landscape
如果我們為年輕人提供的
that we have so lavishly furnished for young people
現代景觀的一面是如此的奢華，
is this idea that there's a perfectible life
即有一種完美的生活，
and that there's a perfectible lifestyle,
有一種完美的生活方式，
then the other is surely work.
那么另一面就肯定是工作。
Nothing is out of reach for those who want it badly enough.
對于那些迫切需要它的人來說， 沒有什么是遙不可及的。
Or so we're told.
至少人們是這樣告訴我們的。
This is the idea at the heart of the American dream.
這是美國夢的核心思想。
Opportunity, meritocracy, the self-made person, hard work.
機遇、任人唯賢、自力更生、努力工作。
The notion that hard work always pays off.
天道酬勤的觀念。
And above all, the idea that we're captains of our own destiny.
最重要的是我們對自己命運的主宰。
These ideas, they connect our wealth, our status
這些觀念將我們的財富、地位
and our image with our innate, personal value.
和形象與我們與生俱來的 個人價值聯系起來。
But it is, of course, complete fiction.
當然，這完全是夢幻泡影。
Because even if there were equality of opportunity,
因為即便有平等的機會，
the idea that we are captains of our own destiny
我們有主宰自己命運的想法
disguises a much darker reality for young people
仍然為年輕人掩蓋了 一個更為黑暗的事實，
that they are subject to an almost ongoing economic tribunal.
那就是他們受制于一個 幾乎正在進行的經濟評判。
Metrics, rankings, lead tables
指標、排名、排名表
have emerged as the yardsticks for which merit can be quantified
已經成為衡量學生成績的標準，
and used to sort young people into schools, classes and colleges.
并被用來將年輕人在校園中劃分等級。
Education is the first arena
教育是第一競技場，
where measurement is so publicly played out
在那里測驗是如此的公開，
and where metrics are being used
度量指標被用來
as a tool to improve standards and performance.
當作工具去提升標準和表現。
And it starts young.
人們小小年紀就要經歷這樣一個過程。
Young people in America's big city high schools
在美國大城市的高中生，
take some 112 mandatory standardized tests
總共要參加112次強制性標準化考試。
between prekindergarten and the end of 12th grade.
從學前班到12年級結束，
No wonder young people report a strong need to strive,
難怪年輕人報告說，有一種強烈的奮斗
perform and achieve at the center of modern life.
、表現和成就的需要，在現代生活的中心。
They've been conditioned to define themselves
他們習慣于用嚴格而狹隘的
in the strict and narrow terms of grades, percentiles and lead tables.
分數、百分位數和排名表來定義自己。
This is a society that preys on their insecurities.
這是一個以他們的 不安全感為食的社會。
Insecurities about how they are performing
他們對自己的表現以及自己
and how they are appearing to other people.
在別人眼中的形象缺乏安全感。
This is a society that amplifies their imperfections.
這是一個放大他們不完美的社會。
Every flaw, every unforeseen setback
每一個缺點，每一個意想不到的挫折，
increases a need to perform more perfectly next time, or else,
都增加了下一次要表現 更完美的需要，否則，
bluntly, you're a failure.
坦率地說，你就是一個失敗者。
That feeling of being flawed and deficient is especially pervasive --
這種缺陷和不足的感受尤其明顯——
just talk to young people.
只需要跟年輕人聊聊就知道。
'How should I look, how should I behave?'
“我該怎么看，我該怎么做？”
'I should look like that model,
“我應該像那個模特，
I should have as many followers as that Instagram influencer,
我的粉絲應該像那個Instagram 上的意見領袖一樣多，
I must do better in school.'
我必須在學校做得更好。”
In my role as mentor to many young people,
在為很多年輕人做導師的角色中，
I see these lived effects of perfectionism firsthand.
我親眼看到了完美主義 這些活生生的影響。
And one student sticks out in my mind very vividly.
有一個學生我仍然記憶猶新。
John, not his real name, was ambitious,
約翰（不是真名）是個雄心勃勃，
hardworking and diligent
勤奮好學的人，
and on the surface, he was exceptionally high-achieving,
并且從表面上看，他有非常高的成就，
often getting first-class grades for his work.
常常成績排名第一。
Yet, no matter how well John achieved,
然而，不管約翰取得了多大的成績，
he always seemed to recast his successes as abject failures,
他似乎總是把自己的成就視為可悲的失敗，
and in meetings with me,
在與我交談時，
he would talk openly about how he'd let himself and others down.
他會公開談論他是如何 令自己和他人失望的。
John's justification was quite simple:
約翰的理由很簡單：
How could he be a success
這怎么能叫成功呢
when he was trying so much harder than other people
他比別人努力那么多，
just to attain the same outcomes?
卻只獲得同樣的成績，
See, John's perfectionism, his unrelenting work ethic,
這就是約翰的完美主義，他堅持不懈的
was only serving to expose what he saw as his inner weakness
工作理念只是在暴露他內心的弱點
to himself and to others.
向自己和他人。
Cases like John's speak to the harmfulness of perfectionism
像約翰這樣的例子說明了完美主義
as a way of being in the world.
作為一種生存方式的危害性。
Contrary to popular belief,
與普遍的看法恰恰相反，
perfectionism is never about perfecting things or perfecting tasks.
完美主義從來不是關于 完善事物或完成任務。
It's not about striving for excellence.
這跟追求卓越無關。
John's case highlights this vividly.
約翰的案例生動地說明了這一點。
At its root, perfectionism is about perfecting the self.
根源上講，完美主義在于完善自我。
Or, more precisely, perfecting an imperfect self.
或者，更準確地說， 是完善不完美的自己。
And you can think about it like a mountain of achievement
你可以把它想像成一座成就的大山，
that perfectionism leads us to imagine ourselves scaling.
完美主義讓我們想象自己在擴張。
And we think to ourselves, 'Once I've reached that summit,
我們對自己說，“一旦我抵達巔峰，
then people will see I'm not flawed, and I'll be worth something.'
那么人們就會認為我是 完美的，我是有價值的。”
But what perfectionism doesn't tell us
但完美主義不會告訴我的是，
is that soon after reaching that summit,
一旦我們抵達那個巔峰，
we will be called down again to the fresh lowlands of insecurity and shame,
我們將再次被召喚到 不安全與恥辱的新低地，
just to try and scale that peak again.
只得再次攀登那個高峰。
This is the cycle of self-defeat.
這就是自我挫敗的循環。
In the pursuit of unattainable perfection, a perfectionist just cannot step off.
在追求無法達到的完美時， 完美主義者就是走不出來。
And it's why it's so difficult to treat.
這就是為什么很難治療。
Now, we've known for decades and decades
盡管我們已經知道幾十年了，
that perfectionism contributes to a host of psychological problems,
完美主義會導致一系列的心理問題，
but there was never a good way to measure it.
但從來沒有一個好方法能衡量它。
That was until the late 1980s
直到1980年代晚期，
when two Canadians, Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett,
當時有兩個加拿大人， 保羅·休伊特和戈登·弗雷特，
came along and developed a self-report measure of perfectionism.
發明了一種自我報告的 完美主義評估方法。
So that's right, folks, you can measure this,
沒錯，各位，完美主義 是可以評估的，
and it essentially captures three core elements of perfectionism.
它本質上是抓住了 完美主義的三個核心要素。
The first is self-oriented perfectionism,
第一個是自我導向型的完美主義，
the irrational desire to be perfect:
追求完美的非理性欲望：
'I strive to be as perfect as I can be.'
“我要努力做到盡可能完美。”
The second is socially prescribed perfectionism,
第二種是社會定向型完美主義，
the sense that the social environment is excessively demanding:
對社會環境對他們要求過高的感覺：
'I feel that others are too demanding of me.'
“我感到其他人對我要求太高了。”
And the third is other-oriented perfectionism,
第三種是其他導向型的完美主義，
the imposition of unrealistic standards on other people:
把不切實際的標準強加于人：
'If I ask somebody to do something, I expect it to be done perfectly.'
“假如我讓人做事情， 我期待結果是完美的。”
Now, research shows that all three elements of perfectionism
研究顯示這三種完美主義要素
associate with compromised mental health,
與精神健康受損相關，
including things like heightened depression,
包括高度抑郁，
heightened anxiety and suicide ideation.
高度焦慮和自殺意愿。
But, by far, the most problematic element of perfectionism
但是，到目前為止， 完美主義最成問題的要素
is socially prescribed perfectionism.
是社會定向型的完美主義。
That sense that everyone expects me to be perfect.
那種對每個人都期待我完美的感覺。
This element of perfectionism
這種完美主義要素
has a large correlation with serious mental illness.
與嚴重的精神疾病有很大的關系。
And with today's emphasis on perfection at the forefront of my mind,
今天我把對完美的強調放在了首位，
I was curious to see whether these elements of perfectionism were changing.
我很好奇這些完美主義的 要素是否在改變。
To date, research in this area is focused on immediate family relations,
迄今為止，這一領域的研究 主要集中在直系親屬關系方面，
but we wanted to look at it at a broader level.
但我們想在更廣泛的層面看這個問題。
So we took all of the data that had ever been collected
所以我們收集了自保羅和戈登
in the 27 years since Paul and Gordon developed that perfectionism measure,
提出完美主義測量方法以來的 27年里的所有數據，
and we isolated the data in college students.
并且單獨分析了大學生的數據。
This turned out to be more than 40,000 young people
結果發現有超過4萬位來自美國，
from American, Canadian and British colleges,
加拿大和英國大學的年輕人，
and with so much data available, we looked to see if there was a trend.
有這么多數據在手， 我們開始觀察是否存在趨勢。
And in all, it took us more than three years
我們總共花了三年多的時間
to collate all of this information, crunch the numbers,
去收集，批量處理這些數據，
and write our report.
并撰寫我們的報告。
But it was worth it because our analysis uncovered something alarming.
但這是值得的，因為我們的分析 揭開了一些讓人警醒的事情。
All three elements of perfectionism have increased over time.
所有這三個完美主義要素 都在隨著時間增長。
But socially prescribed perfectionism saw the largest increase, and by far.
但目前看，社會定向型的 完美主義增長最快。
In 1989,
在1989年，
just nine percent of young people report clinically relevant levels
只有9%的年輕人報告達到臨床程度的
of socially prescribed perfectionism.
社會定向型完美主義。
Those are levels that we might typically see in clinical populations.
這些水平在臨床人群中非常常見。
By 2017, that figure had doubled to 18 percent.
到2017年，這個數據翻倍到18%。
And by 2050, projections based on the models that we tested
到2050年，基于我們測試的模型預估，
indicate that almost one in three young people
幾乎3個年輕人中就有1個人
will report clinically relevant levels of socially prescribed perfectionism.
會報告臨床水平相關的 社會定向型完美主義。
Remember, this is the element of perfectionism
記住，這種要素的完美主義
that has the largest correlation with serious mental illness,
跟嚴重的精神疾病有最大的相關性，
and that's for good reason.
而且這是有原因的。
Socially prescribed perfectionists feel a unrelenting need
社會定向型完美主義者 感到一種無休止的
to meet the expectations of other people.
滿足其他人期望的需求。
And even if they do meet yesterday's expectation of perfection,
即便他們達到了滿足 昨天對完美的期望，
they then raise the bar on themselves to an even higher degree
他們也會把標準提到更高的程度，
because these folks believe that the better they do,
因為這些人相信他們做得越好，
the better that they're expected to do.
他們就被期望做得越好。
This breeds a profound sense of helplessness and, worse, hopelessness.
這孕育了深深的無助感， 甚至更糟糕，絕望感。
But is there hope?
還有希望嗎？
Of course there's hope.
當然存在希望。
Perfectionists can and should hold on to certain things --
完美主義能夠， 也應該堅持特定的事情——
they are typically bright, ambitious, conscientious and hardworking.
通常是聰明、有抱負、認真、勤奮。
And yes, treatment is complex.
是的，治療是復雜的。
But a little bit of self-compassion,
但要有一點自我寬慰，
going easy on ourselves when things don't go well,
當事情不順利的時候對自己寬容一點，
can turn those qualities into greater personal peace and success.
可以把這些品質更多地轉化為 個人平靜和成功。
And then there's what we can do as caregivers.
我們作為護理人員也可以有所行動。
Perfectionism develops in our formative years,
完美主義是在我們性格 形成階段形成的，
and so young people are more vulnerable.
所以年輕人更容易受到傷害。
Parents can help their children
當他們努力過但卻失敗時，
by supporting them unconditionally when they've tried but failed.
父母可以無條件的支持他們的孩子。
And Mom and Dad can resist their understandable urge
在當今激烈競爭的社會中，父母們
in today's highly competitive society to helicopter-parent,
可以盡量避免成為 望子成龍的直升機父母，
as a lot of anxiety is communicated when parents take on their kids' successes and failures as their own.
當父母把孩子的成敗 當作自己的事情時， 會給孩子帶來很多焦慮。
But ultimately, our research raises important questions
但最終，我們的研究提出了
about how we are structuring society
我們如何構建社會
and whether our society's heavy emphasis on competition, evaluation and testing
和我們的社會過度強調競爭， 評估和測試是否有利于年輕人
is benefiting young people.
這個重要的問題。
It's become commonplace for public figures to say
公眾人物常說，
that young people just need a little bit more resilience
年輕人需要更強的適應力，
in the face of these new and unprecedented pressures.
面對這些前所未有的新壓力。
But I believe that is us washing our hands of the core issue
但我認為，這恰恰表明了 我們在逃避核心問題，
because we have a shared responsibility
因為我們首先有共同的責任
to create a society and a culture in which young people need less perfection
去創造一個年輕人 不需要感覺必須那么完美的
in the first place.
社會和文化。
Let's not kid ourselves.
別自欺欺人了。
Creating that kind of world is an enormous challenge,
創造這樣一個世界對一代年輕人
and for a generation of young people
來說是一個巨大的挑戰，
that live their lives in the 24/7 spotlight
他們生活在無時無刻不在的
of metrics, lead tables and social media,
指標，排名表和社交媒體的聚光燈下，
perfectionism is inevitable,
完美主義是不可避免的，
so long as they lack any purpose in life
只要他們在生活中缺乏
greater than how they are appearing
比他們的外表
or how they are performing to other people.
或在他人面前的表現更重要的目標。
What can they do about it?
他們能做什么呢？
Every time they are knocked down from that mountaintop,
每次當他們從巔峰跌落，
they see no other option but to try scaling that peak again.
他們看不到其他選項， 只得努力再次攀登那個高峰。
The ancient Greeks knew
古希臘人知道，
that this endless struggle up and down the same mountain
在同一座山上上上下下
is not the road to happiness.
不是通向幸福的道路。
Their image of hell was a man called Sisyphus,
他們對地獄的想象是 一個叫西西弗斯的人，
doomed for eternity to keep rolling the same boulder up a hill,
注定要永遠把同一塊巨石推上山，
only to see it roll back down and have to start again.
只能眼睜睜看著它一次次滾下來， 并不得不重新再來。
So long as we teach young people
只要我們教年輕人
that there is nothing more real or meaningful in their lives
在他們的生活中，沒有什么比 這種無望的追求完美
than this hopeless quest for perfection,
更真實或更有意義的事情，
then we are going to condemn future generations
而我們將使后代遭受同樣的
to that same futility and despair.
徒勞和絕望。
And so we're left with a question.
那么我們還要面對一個問題。
When are we going to appreciate
我們什么時候才能意識到
that there is something fundamentally inhuman
無限的完美本質上
about limitless perfection?
是違反人性的？
No one is flawless.
人無完人。
If we want to help our young people escape the trap of perfectionism,
如果我們想要幫助我們的年輕人 逃出完美主義的陷阱，
then we will teach them that in a chaotic world,
那么就要告訴他們， 在這個混亂的世界中，
life will often defeat us, but that's OK.
我們常常會遭遇挫折，但沒關系。
Failure is not weakness.
失敗不是軟弱。
If we want to help our young people outgrow this self-defeating snare of impossible perfection,
如果我們想幫助我們的年輕人 擺脫這種不可能完美的 自我挫敗的陷阱，
then we will raise them in a society that has outgrown that very same delusion.
我們就需要在一個不再抱有 同樣幻想的社會中撫養他們。
But most of all,
但最重要的是，
if we want our young people to enjoy mental, emotional
如果我們想要年輕人 享受精神上，情感上
and psychological health,
心理健康上的快樂，
then we will invite them to celebrate the joys
那么我們就要邀請他們去贊美和接納
and the beauties of imperfection
去贊美和接納不完美，
as a normal and natural part of everyday living and loving.
把它作為日常生活和關愛中 正常而自然的一部分。
